The birth of a Savior, thoughts of a mother.

As I sit here today on Christmas Eve, baking cleaning, preparing. Watching my two beautiful boys happily playing with all the presents they just opened. I am, of course thinking of "the reason for the season" as I say. The birth of our beautiful Savior, the one who will give His life for us.
But, this year is different. For some reason this year I am thinking as a mother and thinking of Mary.
Did Mary really know what she was getting into? As she lay there in the barn laboring, about to give birth to a Savior, how did she feel? Did she feel as I did when I was about to have my son? Excited and wild with anticipation? Or was she frightened? Frightened of what she was about to do.
When she delivered her beautiful son was she afraid to hold him? Knowing who He was and all of His power?
Did she ever imagine that when she held him close with all the explosive love of a mother what she would have to endure? Just the thought of what happened to Jesus throughout his life, is enough to make me cry. Cry for the mother that had to stand by and watch as her beloved son was ridiculed and tortured and ultimately died for all of us ungrateful people.
I can't help but selfishly think of what I would do? Remembering like it was yesterday, the first time I looked into my child's eyes, I cannot even imagine what she was feeling so many years ago. The ulitmate sacrifice, the gift of a mother's love.
I have a new perspective this Christmas. I now believe that Christmas is a celebration not only of the birth of Jesus Christ, but also a celebration of the birth of all children. A way to look lovingly at our own kids with the realization that they will never have to endure what Jesus endured for them. And to thank and praise Him every day that we, as parents will never have to endure the pain of sacrificing one of our children.

Screw you, Slimgenics!

OK, so I am about to get a tich personal here and share a story about a recent visit of mine to Slimgenics. I was so horrified that at the risk of public humiliation I felt it necessary to share my story...
Almost 2 years ago I was diagnosed with a Gluten Intolerance which was a lifesaver for me... it got rid of my chronic headaches and digestive issues. The downside of this was that I could no longer eat ANYTHING that was made with wheat, barley or rye. So, no bread, pasta, baked goods or God help me... beer. The upside was that once I cut that stuff out of my diet (no easy task may I just say) I lost about 12 lbs in around 2 weeks. Which was great because I was struggling to get off the "baby weight" from Logan. And some extra still left from Conner.
So... long story short, because of the new awareness of people with gluten problems, food manufacturers have started making gluten free products. Which includes bread, pasta and one bad ass Betty Crocker brownie mix. Great for my palate not so much for my waistline. (Curse you, Betty!) So those lb's came a-creepin' back and brought their friends.
So, I got myself a Lifetime membership, and let me tell you, that card looks great in my wallet! :)
Anyhoo.... A friend of mine had used Slimgenics and had some good results, but she did however not like that the program was so restrictive. "Perfect!" I thought. Hoping that restrictive meant they were going to tie my hands behind my back so I couldn't open the refridgerator door any more.
So I made my appointment and headed on in. I had no intention of purchasing the program that day and made this pointedly clear to the manager. I told her that I was gathering information and would be taking it home to discuss with my husband.
Everything was great until we headed into "the room" to talk one on one and where it went wrong from there is not clear. She continuously played on my emotions, which I get, to an extent, but she was very pushy about how being "overweight" made me feel and how society views people who are overweight. Even asking me the same questions over and over about what I really meant when I said that I wanted more "control" (she even used the two finger quotation gesture on that one) My smart ass self had to fight the urge to tell her that "control" really meant world domination.
She proceeded then to tell me the cost of the program. About $1500- whoa, what? Oh, but today and today only we will give it to you for $500. Oooh! What a deal. Plus the cost of the snacks which were "required" at about another $25 per week. Um, OK? But, I have to give her props... she had played my emotions well and had me weeping about how being "fat" was ruining my entire life. (For the record, I have to lose about 25 lbs.) Then she proceeded to ask me if that will be cash, check or credit. I reminded her that I would need to discuss this with my husband. She then responded "Why don't you give him a call right now? I'll wait." I again reminded her that I didn't even bring my purse with me today and she said " Thats OK- your husband can give us your cc# over the phone." Oooookaaaay? She was at least nice enough to offer to wait outside the room when I talked to him. So I called Jason, knowing exactly what he would say... can I get a "Hell, no!" Actually he said... "Lets discuss it more when you get home. This is something we can save up for." When I told the woman this (which was my plan all along) she actually had the nerve to tell me to go home and "sweet talk" my husband and call her back later that evening to sign up. As we were walking to the door I was planning how I could save up some money and possibly come back next month and get started, until she turned to me and had the incredible balls to tell me.. " If this is something you really wanted today, you would have found a way to do it." And I did.... just not with you, lady.

Packin' away the beach bag.

Yep- it was inevitable. Here I sit in the middle of the living room floor surrounded by the contents of my favorite bag. Conner's swim goggles, extra rubber flip flops and about 10 lbs of stray sand. On the other side of the room is the Rubbermaid tub also emptied of its contents of long sleeve shirts and sweatshirts that had been packed away.

I just have one question..... "Where the heck did summer go?"

But what a great summer it was! We had such a blast, camping with my family, camping with some great friends. A couple of (outdoor!) Twins games, 2 little boys who are another year older (tear), and Conner losing his two front teeth! The birth of a precious nephew, and days and days spent at the Lifetime pool. The Dakota County Fair and last of all the State Fair yesterday.

Wow! And here I sit with Conner starting 2nd grade and Logan starting preschool. And myself, after almost a year home with my boys, am starting back to work on Tuesday. Granted, it is part time, but I am anticipating and dreading it all in the same thought.

But, I am really looking forward to fall. The high school dance season starts on October 25th and I am so pumped up to see all the girls again! We have a great group of about 60 girls this year and we are going to have a couple good teams!

And of course, there is Vikings football and Gophers football and Farmington football!

Then there is Halloween... Conner told me yesterday he wanted to be Gene Simmons for Halloween, ummm.... OK? So, does anyone know where I can find some kid sized leather pants and knee boots?

Well, the Rubbermaid tub is giving me the stink eye so I'd better finish emptying it before it riles up the appliances. I hope everyone had a wonderful summer and let's hope we get just one more warm day that we can defiantly bust out the flip flops and jump in a pile of leaves!

Babies, babies everywhere!

Today was sure the day for babies! Both my sister in law Jenni and my good friend Shelby had their babies today about an hour apart from each other. Neither couple decided to find out the sex of their babies so there was a lot of speculation flying around our house the last couple days. Shelby was due with baby #1 on July 30th, so we knew it would be any day and this morning I got the text... it's a boy! Landon Gary Kuphal arrived weighing in at 9lbs 15 oz! Whoa! Now that's a baby!!! :) I cannot wait to meet him and give a big squeeze to mommy tomorrow night!

Jenni wasn't expecting baby number 3 until Saturday, but baby had other plans. I guess with 2 girls already and Jenni saying that the pregnancy was no different from her previous two, I just fiqured the odds were against them. But it is a 50-50 chance right?? We got the text at around 4am. "It's a boy!!!" I couldn't believe it! There were rumors of Seth being so excited that he ripped off his shirt and ran through the hospital shrieking! OK- there were no such rumors, but I really could imagine it happening. Finally! Baby Carson Alan Ryan was here... weighing in at 7lbs 13oz.

When I told Conner this morning that Jenni had her baby, his eyes got as big as saucers and he said "What is it?" I told him it was a boy and Conner got so excited that he took off his shirt and ran shrieking thru the house. OK, OK not really, but there was a "Yes!" and a big fist pump.

We headed up to the hospital tonight to visit and Logan was absolutely infatuated with baby Carson. He wanted to hold him and touch his fingers and his toes. He was so sweet and careful and he even promised not to drop him! He held him four or five times and didn't even get jealous when I was holding him, he just came over and tried to pry him out of my arms telling me to "take turns, mommy."

What a wonderful day today was. Two beautiful blessings from heaven. Boys or girls it really wouldn't have mattered to any of us... as they say 10 fingers and 10 toes, right? It is amazing how insignificant everything else becomes when you are staring into the eyes of a newborn. A beautiful creation from God.

Thank you Jenni, Seth, Shelby and Ryan for sharing your blessings with us. They will be loved beyond words!

Birthdays and underpants.

My adorable little niece Ashley is celebtating her 3rd birthday today! We had a blast at her black themed birthday party last night. The theme was black because that is Ashley's favorite color. I know, right? Not pink, not purple, not even green...... black. This little one is so obsessed with the color black that she is absolutely convinced that her unborn sibling (which will be arriving very soon) is going to be black. Just because she says so. Which is particularly hilarious considering the extreme whiteness of her family. We're talkin' blonde hair and blue eyes whiteness. Well, Seth her daddy has some ghetto in him, but I'm sure that doesn't count in this situation! So, bring on the black baby, Jenni. We are all waiting to see how that one turns out! :)
Ashley spent almost 2 hours wearing a circle track down the driveway and back up through the garage on her new bike innothing but her Tinkerbell underpants! She had taken off her dress so she wouldn't get cake (which had black frosting!) on it and refused to put it back on. So we spent the good part of the evening waving to her everytime she passed and taking pictures that will haunt her for the rest of her life!
So on that note... again, I will wish her a very Happy Birthday and maybe next year I will give her some new Tinkerbell underpants..... the entire neighborhood has seen this pair already!

Growin like weeds!

Yes, yes, I know.... I haven't been a very good blogger, but come on...... it's summertime and there are just waaaayy too many summertime things to do!!

The news was good about my mom. It wasn't the dreaded "C" word although the doctors don't really know what is going on. She has her good days and her bad days, but with meds she seems to be doing OK. We are supposed to be leaving on our annual camping trip to Wisconsin soon so we are all hoping that she is feeling well enough to have a great trip with Jarrod, Lisa, Jason and I and all 4 grandkids!

I had a fantastic opportunity to spend 4 days in Redwood Falls at dance camp last week with my favorite group of girls. We took a group of 36 this year and I have to say I had a blast! I learned so much and have so many great ideas for this season I just don't know where to start! The only part that was not so fun was the bus ride home. 2.5 hours in a school bus with no air conditioning, and the heat index at 105 was something I could have done without!

I do have to say tho that I am super annoyed that it is already the middle of July. Conner's 7th birthday is coming up next Tuesday the 27th with Logan following right behind on Aug 19th with his 3rd birthday. Damn kids, growin up and stuff. I hate it!!!

We are off to the Twins game tomorrow night with my 2nd trip to Target Field. We have fantastic seats in the Legends Club thanks to my dad generously giving us his seats for the game. I am really excited, considering the last time we went we were in the upper upper deck. But the boys had a blast and Logan still wants to play baseball every day and hit the ball like "Go Marer" (That would be Joe Mauer)

And on a side note, some of you may be slightly disappointed to learn that Logan has learned how to say dump truck so that it sounds more like dump truck instead of "dumb f#ck" Ahhhh, just another sign that my baby is growing up.

As sands through the hourglass.....

And it seems as if those sands are increasing speed as I get ummm... "older."
The last month has been a roller coaster ride, full of reconnections, letting go and coming to terms with the mortality of my own dear parents. It became so clear to me as my mom and I attended a wake together for one of my best friend's dad who lost his battle with cancer. As my mom and I were talking afterward, she nonchalantly said she is " no longer on the highway of life, more like approaching the exit ramp." Wow. Smack in the face.
This all became a terrible reality this past week with my mom and her own health. She has been quite sick the last couple weeks and is in the middle of a lot of testing to find out what could be the cause. I am really struggling with all of this and facing the reality that someday, I really could lose her. We talk almost every day. What would I do without my best friend???
I have another dear, dear friend who is also battling the "C" word with her mother. This one comes in the form of lung cancer. She is finished with all of her treatments and chemo and is doing quite well, but I can't quite shake the knowledge that it will eventually get her. How many people out there do you hear talking about the fact that they are a "lung cancer survivor?" I'm guessing not many.
Speaking of my dear friend Emily. I am so glad that I had the fantastic opportunity to reconnect with her after 10+ years! I love this girl so much! We were friends practically before we were born, and completely lost touch with each other, even though she only lives in S.St. Paul. She has 2 beautiful boys and is still the same sweet, caring beautiful person that I remember.
She is having a hard time divorcing the d-bag reason that we lost touch with each other. The d-bag husband is proving to be and even bigger d-bag eventual ex-husband. If payback is a bitch, then this guy deserves a whole tribe of them.
I am so happy to switch gears, this post is depressing me...... on a happy and fantastic note I also reconnected with my good friend Dana, who is now the proud owner of Synergy Dance Center. It had only been a couple years since we had a good old fashioned laugh together, but she asked me to judge auditions for her performing groups and I had a blast! We spent the day yesterday at the Lifetime pool with her wonderful girls Aubrie and Macie and the boys had a BLAST!! I think Logan has his very first crush on Macie! :) Dana and I had fun relaxing and talking and lets just say that Dana has alot of exciting things on hand for this fall. Stay tuned!!!

All in a day's work.

It started with a dream. Pre-Angelina Brad and I were sitting side by side on lounge chairs, looking out at the most amazing, beautiful beach. The breeze was lightly tossing my hair. All was good in the world. Brad looks over at me and lovingly says "Mom, catch!"
What???
I open my eyes just in time to see the mini Gopher football hit me square in the forehead.
"Nice catch, mom!" Logan cheers and runs out of the bedroom. Awesome.
I roll over and drag my butt out of bed. Yet another morning where the kids have gotten up before me and run amok doing all sorts of unspeakable things without my knowledge.
I am heading for the bathroom when tragedy strikes. "MOM!!!! Come quick, Help me!!" Conner screams from downstairs. I rush down the stairs expecting the worst and there it was right before my eyes...... Lego Vader had fallen in the toilet. Even though he is on the Dark Side, nobody deserves to meet such an unfortunate demise. So I peeked in and sure enough, there he was on the bottom of the bowl. But good grief, couldn't he have fallen in before Conner used the toilet?? No such luck. So, I put on my Super Mom cape (and rubber gloves) and rescued Lego Vader, scrubbed him up and went to the kichen to start up some breakfast.
Apparently, in the 20 seconds it took me to grab the juice out of the fridge, Lego Vader, the needy bastard he is, managed to get himself lodged in the soap dispenser. I guess Conner wanted to make sure he was good and clean so he just shoved him right on in. Awesome. Yet another rescue and it wasn't even 8 am!
So, after burning the Eggo's and setting off the smoke detector I decided to call it a day. I put away my cape (and rubber gloves) and set off to tackle the laundry which I can count on to be mundane and uneventful.
I am happy to report that it was just as I expected and the rest of the day went much better! But, the best part of the day is now when Super Mom gets to refuel. My particular fuel comes in a blue bottle and says "Riesling" which I am sure means God-send in German.

Mom... I love you more than McDonalds.

We had a great Memorial weekend! We packed up the Trailblazer (or, Failzazer as Logan pronounces it!) and tried to beat the traffic by leaving town at 2pm. Apparently, everyone had that exact same idea because we STILL hit some major traffic! It is so fun to see that the closer to the cabin we get, the more and more excited Jason becomes! The storytelling begins at about the Hinckley exit. It is fun to see him remember certain trips to the cabin as a child, or a teenager and even though I have heard these same stories dozens of times... I just smile and let him chatter on. The cabin means so much to him and I am so glad that we now get to bring our kids up to start making their own memories!

Conner had a blast with his idol, Jason's cousin Weston, and the two of them got in some good fishing. Conner was so proud of his rock bass and his crappie, even though he had to throw them back! Weston even took Conner on a boat ride and they found a little turtle and a big frog. The begging to keep them was not so awesome for mom........

Logan even got a go at it with his very own Spiderman fishing pole that was graciously handed down from his brother. Conner got a brand new "big kid" pole that came with lures and everything!

The best part is that the boys get to spend time with Jason's grandma Liz.. or Grandma Lizard as Conner calls her! She is 84 and sharp as a tack- she has a wonderful sense of humor and I love that whenever she addresses one of the boys, she calls them something like "sweet potoato" or "sugar dumpling" it melts my heart!

We were going to head back home on Sunday afternoon, but we heard that the whole clan was coming for a visit, so we decided to stay one more night. The boys were busy outside doing some work on the new patio and they even let Conner help out by letting him use the drill and help to make the new step. He was in his glory!

The next morning we headed back for home and although we were tired, we had a great time! As we were packing up to leave, I asked Conner if he had fun. He said yes and then headed for the door. He paused for a minute and turned around and said " I love you so much mom, even more than I love McDonalds. " Yep..... it was a great weekend.

I am a blogger.

OK, OK already, so I gave in and created my own blog. It seems like the "cool" thing to do. And seeing as I am all about remaining "cool" dispite my dwindling tolerance of booby shirts and hoochie shorts (especially on 12 year old girls). I gave in. So what?
But mostly because I could no longer fit some of the crazy things that happen on a daily basis onto my Facebook status. That, and a friend telling me that I should write a book because you seriously can't make this stuff up.

The title of my blog reflects how I feel every day. I believe with my heart that I am a Super Mom... my husband, Jason knows this because I remind him of that fact hourly, sometimes twice an hour, depending on the day.
But, I also know that even though I have the best intentions, sometimes I fail miserably and expect that the neighbors are going to call Social Services because of the screaming that is coming from my house. And I am not afraid to admit that although I love my children with every ounce of my being...... sometimes I just want them to go away.
I know nothing about good parenting. Heck, I just wake up every morning and pray to God that no one loses a limb, gets an eye poked out or gets carted off to jail (namely, me).
So, I hope you enjoy reading about my misadventures as much as I (mostly) enjoy living them!